FIC: Willful Misunderstanding, Snape/Lupin, NC-17
The fic dump is officially over-- thanks for all of your patience during the transfer over from LJ!

Title: Willful Misunderstanding
Pairing: Snape/Lupin
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: DH spoilers, angst
Word Count: 7030
Summary: In his sixth year, Snape is nearly attacked by a werewolf in the Forbidden Forest. Miraculously, the werewolf disappears and onto the scene comes Remus Lupin-- and Snape assumes that Remus scared the werewolf away and saved his life
Author's Notes: The thing is, I've been writer's-blocked since before DH came out, so to try to get myself writing again, I'm going back into the vaults and fixing/finishing/DH-compatiblizing abandoned fics like this one. Thank you to thescarletwoman for the beta and encouragement!
First posted: January 29th, 2008



The problem was not that Severus Snape was in love with Remus Lupin. Severus was perfectly used to being denied what he wanted. He didn't get a bicycle for Christmas when he was seven, but rather a sound thrashing for hinting too much for one. He wasn't allowed even one kiss from Lily Evans, who had given him the "our friendship is too special to ruin with romance" speech. He hadn't been made Prefect, no matter how he had secretly wished to be. He rather suspected Dumbledore, paranoid old git that he was, of understanding his motivations too well. The old man always did take sides, and it was clear that he didn't want Severus putting the beloved golden quartet in detention for breathing too loudly. Severus loved the idea of giving detentions to those who complained loudest about them.

So, being in love with Lupin wasn't itself a problem. In fact, it had helped him to suppress his burgeoning feelings for Evans so it had its uses, but it was still a concern for other reasons. He thought he should have better control of himself than this. Lupin's presence, or even the thought of him, distracted Severus far too easily. At least he didn't actually expect a return of his affections, so he wasn't disappointed that there was none, or that sometimes Remus held hands with Avlynn Prewett and rarely even looked at Severus at all.

That he was so utterly and unfailingly fine with all of this did not quite account for the stalking, though. Severus himself didn't think of it that way, though the vile Sirius Black had accused him of it more than once. Just that morning, in fact, Black had caught him slinking toward the lake, where all four of the Gryffindor boys were swimming. Naked, or at least very nearly naked. Severus could see Pettigrew halfway to the other side of the lake—who knew he was a decent swimmer?—while Potter and Lupin splashed each other and giggled like six year olds. Black, that egotistical wanker, had misinterpreted Severus' motives.

"Well, well," Black said, eyes glittering as he stepped, completely nude, from the lake, water cascading down him in random rivulets like it was trying to get off him as fast as possible. Severus didn't blame it.

"Marvelous, Black, stringing two whole syllables together. Or rather, repeating the same one twice. It must be ever so taxing." Severus smirked. The other boys stayed in the water, watching, though both Potter and Lupin looked like they would vault onto land at the first sign of confrontation. Severus did so hate to disappoint.

Black snorted. "I pull the same grades as you, Snivelly," he said, shifting his weight to one foot. Severus didn't look below his neck. "You're just jealous because I don't have to study and you do."

"Jealous?!"

"And because I don't drip grease on my textbooks when I do open them."

"Why you—"

"And because I'm so much handsomer and cleverer than you."

Severus felt his rage quivering tight as a drawn bowstring within him, but he managed to drawl, "You must be so proud of the centuries of fine inbreeding it took to perfect such results."

Black's face reddened and his hand automatically went to his hip to retrieve the wand that, of course, wasn't there. Severus had already sprung into action, firing off a stinging hex and a tickling jinx in rapid succession so that Black collapsed to the ground, howling like a dog and trying frantically to scratch the invisible itches. Potter was out of the water like a shot, after Snape with fists flying.

"Petrificus totalus."

It hadn't been Snape who'd said the charm so calmly and firmly. Snape swung about and stared in shock as Lupin, already dressed in his school robes, spoke again. "Finite Incantatem."

Black stopped writhing and quickly rolled to his feet, and Severus was pleased to note that he was covered in grime. Lupin unfroze Potter, while Severus and Black both took a breath to hurl further invective at one another. Pettigrew clambered out of the water to join Black, but Lupin said, "That's enough."

It was as if the note of authority in his voice was magic itself, as it made Black, Pettigrew, and Potter come to heel immediately, and Snape just stared at the other boy. His blondish hair looked dark brown from the water, slicked to his head, and Severus had a strong suspicion that he had nothing on underneath those robes. It made Severus' mouth run dry.

"While Black and Potter might need you to dash to their rescue," he snarked, crouched low and holding his wand on all of them, "I need no such assistance."

He locked eyes with Lupin. His knees went weak at the quiet command he saw there, and the heat. He managed a half-cocked sneer and wheeled about, marching back up to the castle.

Severus couldn't sleep that night. For one thing, Carrow and Avery were whispering furiously next to his bed, plotting god alone knew what. For another, his erection was throbbing, desperate for his attention. He was pointedly ignoring it, which would have been all right if he wasn't thinking about Lupin. And that wasn't helping his erection go away at all. But Severus was determined that his self-control would win out over his baser instincts. This was all Lucius Malfoy's fault. Lucius had kissed Severus last summer as if he were sampling a glass of merlot, as if it were his right to take what he pleased. If he hadn't, Severus was convinced that boys as objects of sexual fascination would never have occurred to him. He'd never been particularly interested in girls either, but that was neither here nor there. Some people spread colds. Trust Lucius Malfoy to spread homosexuality instead.

It wasn't until he'd returned to school this fall that he'd looked at Lupin and thought about kissing him, wondering how the other boy would feel in his arms. If he would kiss back, if he would want more. Lupin was nothing like Lucius, though that made sense, as Severus hadn't wanted Lucius in the first place. No, Lupin was softer-spoken and yet somehow indefinably fiercer. He was shorter than Lucius too, a good two or three inches shorter than Snape himself. His eyes were the most particular shade of hazel. Like runespoor, Severus thought, or a perfectly blended batch of the Draught of Harmony.

Sod it to hell. Severus' hand crept below the sheets. He palmed himself and had to bite back a relieved groan. It wouldn't do for his dignity or his reputation if his roommates heard him, but he had been working on the construction of a special new spell for exactly this situation. There was nothing more off-putting than listening to Lockhart's breathy moans late at night. Severus would not have his dormmates hearing and judging him, too. Left hand still on his cock, and holding his hips very still in spite of his desire to thrust against the contact, he slipped his wand from beneath the pillow. Wank with the left hand so you're free to hex with your right. That was Severus' pragmatic, if perhaps a little paranoid, philosophy.

"Muffliato," he whispered, hitting each of his dormmates with his clever little jinx. "The room is on fire," he said out loud.

No one reacted, and he smirked, a rush of power and superiority mingling with his arousal. Once, he'd thought to share his creations with Evans. Now he imagined showing Lupin this charm, explaining to him the care that had gone into creating its structure, figuring out the correct wand movement, the correct word. Lupin would be so impressed that he would take a step closer and ask Severus to show him something else.

Severus wrapped his hand around his prick, sucking in a breath at the rough texture of his scratchy grey nightshirt. He wore nothing underneath, but the almost-pain the friction caused as he stroked himself only served to heighten the ultimate pleasure of it. He pictured himself fisting Remus' shirt and hauling him forward, kissing Lupin as fiercely and possessively as Lucius had once kissed him. Taking. Lupin would whimper and writhe as if trying to get free, but in the end, he would fall against Snape, clawing at his shoulders to get closer. The Lupin in Severus' mind found himself surprised to want more, to be unable to get enough of Severus. He hiked up his night shirt and cupped his balls, rolling them roughly with his left hand. He imagined heat radiating from Lupin's body and Lupin's mouth pressing frantic kisses against his throat, telling him what good company he was, and how he would renounce those idiots, Black, Potter, and Pettigrew, immediately. Severus smiled cruelly, taking his prick in hand at last and groaning deeply. Oh yes, he could make Lupin forget all about them, forget his own name...

Thinking of nothing more than desperate, rough kisses and promises of loyalty and devotion, Severus' orgasm almost caught him offguard, slamming through him with frightening intensity. He cried out, his voice raw and needy, and then lay gasping against the sheets. The image of Lupin refused to dissolve as his arousal and energy ebbed, haunting him into sleep.

~*~

All right, so being in the Forbidden Forest this late at night was pushing his luck. And Severus, as much as anything, tended to be a stickler for the rules. He liked knowing exactly what he should be following, found it comforting, somehow. Sometimes one had to break with the rules, though.

Like now, for instance. He had to put a stop to this ridiculous Lupin fetish. It was driving him mad. Worse, it was driving him to contemplate making peace with Black, if only Lupin would kiss him. So that meant it was time to put an end to it, once and for all. He had theorized an anti-Amortentia potion, something to drive the love he had for Lupin from his mind. He was almost sure that it would neither fail nor accidentally poison him (though at this point, poison wouldn't be entirely unwelcome, if only it would stop this ridiculous feeling). He'd gathered the frozen ashwinder eggs and the salamander spleens. Now all he required was black hellebore picked at dawn after a full moon, which would help him to purge his feelings for Lupin. It was one of the things he loved most about potions, this need for precision. Muggles didn't understand the potency that certain times, certain places, and certain methods of harvesting wrought within plants. The same hellebore picked five days hence might well turn his draught into a potion that made one giggle nonstop, or kill him outright. Exactitude was key.

Dawn was very near, the promise of light permeating the night sky when Severus reached the glade for which he'd been hunting. Only here would he find his hellebore. Only a few more minutes and he could harvest. Then he could, at long last--

With an undignified yelp, he fell to the ground, foot caught on something hidden amongst the bramble. He fell arse over tea kettle, squawking as he went down loud enough to bring the entire centaur herd down on his head. Or something else down on his head... a low growl, like danger made audible, reverberated through the glen. Severus froze, slow terror icing over his veins. The thing that prowled into the glen was too big to be a dog. And it moved too preternaturally, too almost-upright, as if its front claws touched the ground almost as an afterthought, a vestigial trace of what the creature was not. Its walk was almost human, a caricature of the worst of humanity. It walked as if it feared nothing.

Severus was terrified. The thing stole ever closer to him, and in the dim pre-dawn light, he could see the way its fur bristled, jet black but for a large brownish swath across shoulder and front leg that grew unevenly, as if over scar tissue. Its jaws, bigger than Severus' whole head, snapped, tasting the air, and Severus was hit with the scent of hot, putrid flesh. The thing had eaten raw meat tonight. Severus thought he could see blood dripping from its fangs. Its eyes, an unnatural, lamplike yellow, flashed, and locked with Severus'. And the werewolf lunged.

Severus had never screamed before in his life. Not when his father hit him or his mother, and not when some seventh year Gryffindors had told him the giant squid was a maneater before throwing him in the lake. Not even when he came all over his hand each night, thinking of Remus Lupin. But he screamed now. He screamed his unholy terror to the sky, tearing up his throat as surely as the werewolf's claws could. At last, feeling returned to his benumbed body and he scrambled backward, rolling hard to the right. The monster's bristly fur brushed his forearm as it landed where Severus had just been. Severus was on his feet again, firing a bodybind and a stinging hex off in quick succession. The magical energy glanced off the beast's hide, causing it to whine and then growl evilly. He knew magic designed for humans didn't work against werewolves, their own shape-shifting magic too powerful and raw. Still, it slowed the monster down enough for Severus to get a small lead, snapping branches and trampling plants underfoot. He made it only twenty feet before the creature, on his tail, made a terrible, gut-wrenching wail. He heard a crash, as if the creature had fallen, and an enraged howl. Severus flattened himself to the forest floor, panting harshly and praying to the same half-believed-in- deity that he sometimes asked to make Remus fall in love with him. Please, he thought, don't let it kill me. Don't let it turn me.

He counted his heartbeats, timpanic crashes in his ears: ten, then twenty, then fifty. He heard noises, gentler than before, a gasp of pain and a very human voice muttering a curse. Severus shot to his feet, creeping closer in spite of himself. His all-consuming desire to know as much as possible temporarily outweighed his fear. And there in the clearing, arranging a set of dark robes over his lanky frame, was--

"Remus." Severus didn't realize he'd said it out loud until the other boy looked up sharply, swaying where he stood. His eyes, sunken in his haggard, dirty face, widened in horror.

"Severus?" he gaped, stumbling forward and nearly falling.

"What are you--?" Severus began, Remus speaking over him.

"I didn't-- did I?"

"You didn't what?"

"The werewolf..." said Lupin uneasily.

"You saw it?" Severus asked, shocked. "Where did it go?"

"Did it hurt you?" Remus demanded, suddenly frantic. He grabbed Severus by the wrist, and Severus gasped. The boy's fingers were icy cold, and yet the touch inflamed him. Never before had Remus touched him, not even accidentally.

"It came at me," Severus said hoarsely. "I... outmaneuvered it."

"Thank god," Remus whispered, fingers squeezing Severus' wrist convulsively. "If anything had happened to you--" But he couldn't finish the sentence, swaying forward as if off-balance. Severus caught him instinctively, clutching the shaking boy to his chest half to support him and half out of pure greed. Pure need. He had never been given the chance to touch Remus like this, and he might never get it again. He could feel how cold Remus' hands were as the other boy clutched at him, could smell about him the wildness of the forest and of the werewolf itself.

"Remus, are you hurt? Tell me," Severus took a breath, giving voice to gut-wrenching fear. "Tell me it didn't harm you."

But Remus was beyond speech, if he was even conscious. Severus put his dread and his plethora of questions aside for the moment, and half-dragged, half-carried Remus out of the forest and toward the cool but precise care of the new matron, Madam Pomfrey.

~*~

He did not seen Lupin for several days, and when he finally did a get a glimpse of the other boy, shuffling down the Charms corridor, Remus still looked grey-skinned and haggard. Severus didn't give him a chance to slip away, stalking him down the corridor until Remus was near the doorway of an unused classroom, and then he pounced, Stunning Remus with a mild jinx and then smuggling him inside.

"Restoratum," Severus said, giving Remus his senses back.

"How dare you hex me with my back turned!" Remus snapped, angry and clearly on edge.

Severus waved his hand in front of his face as if clearing away an irrelevant question. "The werewolf, Lupin. Did it harm you?"

Remus laughed hollowly. "You're seriously inquiring after my health?"

"What happened, then? You look unharmed, if somewhat ill. Was it overuse of magic? Did you take an improperly brewed potion before you set out? I don't understand what you were doing out there in the first place."

"Can you not be placated by the notion that by the time you saw me, the werewolf had disappeared?" Remus asked, pain in his voice.

Severus blinked. "Did you chase it away? Lupin, were you out here looking for that werewolf?"

Remus stammered, "Well, in a manner of--"

"Stupid, reckless Gryffindor!" Severus grabbed the front of Lupin's loose robes, fear for the life of this one boy he cared so much about coursing through him. Fear, and the dawning realization that Lupin... "You saved my life."

Remus shook his head emphatically. "No, you saved yourself by running, I simply--"

"If you had not happened along... it was only just behind me, it would have had me." Severus shuddered, for once letting his guard down. He took a good look at the boy who had saved his life. "Were you out there all that night? You looked positively dreadful. You still don't look well."

Indeed, dark bags squatted below Remus' eyes, which were deeply shadowed. His skin was nearly as pale as Severus' own, and his mouth was drawn tightly shut. "Thank you," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Are you ill once more?" Severus had noticed how often the object of his infatuation was absent from class and meals in the Great Hall.

"You watch me so closely," Remus whispered, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Yes."

A heartbeat, or less, as time hung in suspension between them. And then Severus breathed again, trying to explain why he watched Lupin. He didn't have to, though-- couldn't, in fact, as Remus Lupin flung his arms around Severus' neck and kissed him. It was neither tentative nor unpracticed, and yet, the rawness of it made Severus ache for more. He was so stunned that he stood there immobilized, trying to process the sensation of cool, determined lips moving desperately against his own. By the time it occurred to him to reach for Lupin and reciprocate, Remus was already taking a step back, babbling an apology.

"I'm so sorry, Severus, I'm exhausted, and I'm not thinking straight, and--"

"And you're not getting away that easily," Severus said, realizing just by Remus' expression that this gamble would pay off. His fingers tightened in the folds of Remus' robes once more and he pulled him forward. Remus' eyes were wide but neither frightened nor disgusted.

"Yes," the boy whispered, and it was almost enough to make Severus falter. Remus pressed forward again, though, bringing their lips together and this time they were both moving, mouths finding each other, the shock of Remus' tongue touching his. This was nothing like Lucius' cold, bored kiss, and it wasn't even like he'd imagined it would be. He'd pictured shoving Remus against a wall and pinning his wrists above his head, but Severus couldn't imagine letting Remus go from the circle of his arms.

He drew back just enough to say, "This isn't gratitude, Lupin, just so you--"

Remus cut him off with a brilliant smile and another kiss, apparently not caring about the way their noses bumped or the way he had to rise on tiptoe to come level to Severus' mouth. Severus himself didn't give a damn about anything else, as long as Lupin kept kissing him like this.

"I--" Remus whispered, but whatever he was about to disclose was cut off by the bell, magically ringing throughout the school to signal class change. Remus stumbled backward, looking dazed.

"I've got to go," he said, waving vaguely at the door.

Severus nodded. "As must I."

"Go first, I'll catch you up."

Severus nodded his pragmatic agreement that they could not be seen leaving an empty classroom together, warring with something else that he couldn't quite identify. He left without a backward glance.

~*~

After that, Severus actually saw less of Remus Lupin than he had before, though each meeting was far more interesting. Severus had put a conscious stop to following Lupin about, sure that it was unhealthy to stalk one's... whatever Lupin was to him. Whenever they were close enough, passing in the hallways or during double potions, Remus' fingertips always managed to brush Severus' knuckles or shoulders. Or, last week, the nape of his neck while he was hunkered over a cauldron full of extra credit Felix Felicis. Severus had botched the batch so terribly that Professor Slughorn had decided that the shrivelfigs must have been off. There was no other way to explain Severus not carrying off a potion perfectly.

Four times over the last three weeks they'd managed to lose Lupin's cronies long enough to steal away during a free period. Once they'd even managed a brief but heated snog in the Restricted Section of the library, Severus' back up against the Poisons, one of Remus' lean legs sliding between his thighs before they'd heard that old bat Pince shuffling toward them and had had to break apart.

Severus wanted more than a needy but tentative press of hips or the shy brush of fingers beneath his shirt as sure lips met. He craved Remus, and to hell with self-control. He was plotting ways of exploring Remus' skin more leisurely on his way to herbology. So lost was he in the sense memory of finding a particularly sensitive spot below Remus' ear, he didn't notice that for once, he was the one being stalked. He was about to enter Greenhouse Four with the rest of his class when a hand shot out and fixed to his shoulder, yanking him behind the building.

"Lup--" he was cut off by a quick, hard kiss.

"No one's around, come on!" Remus tugged Severus across the grounds, toward the lake. They collapsed beneath a huge, fat fir tree, Remus laughing and Severus' lips twitching into a near-smile.

"Are we playing hooky, then?" Severus drawled as Remus pulled him down to the forest floor. The gleam in his eyes was almost feral.

"So serious," he said as he straddled Severus' hips.

Severus couldn't help the needy groan that escaped him. Neither of them had done anything so forward before, and god, he wanted more. He buried his fingers in Remus' hair, dragging him down for a rough kiss.

Remus growled, "You want me."

There could be no denying it, not with the way their very erect pricks were snug against each other. Severus nodded, wordless for once. Remus leaned forward and licked Severus' lower lip.

"Oh!" Severus gasped, his hands on Remus' hips. The other boy kissed his way over Severus' jaw and nuzzled his neck. Severus was breathless with surprised arousal, completely unused to such sensations. This felt like so much more than a quick, selfish toss-off. This felt like Remus actually cared.

"You need me," Remus snarled, breaking his reverie, and Severus was helpless to resist him, nodding eagerly. Holding his gaze, Remus rolled his hips, drawing a cry from Severus.

"You torture me," Severus accused, clutching at Remus' arse.

"Yes, love." Another roll of the hips.

Love... No one had ever called him that. He was momentarily flattened to the ground by the weight of it, rendered even more immobile by Remus' hand cupping his prick.

"Lupin," he moaned, and the other boy squeezed him.

"Remus," he admonished, rubbing Severus mercilessly and leaning down to nip at his neck. "Say 'Remus'."

"Lupin, what's got into you?" Severus managed hoarsely, hips bucking against Remus' hand. He could barely think, only act, and he clawed at Remus' shirt, sliding his hands under it to clasp at bare skin.

A quirk of lips and a haze of lust in Remus' gaze. "Have you never felt like taking what you wanted?"

Severus couldn't contain himself anymore, rocking hard into Remus' grasp. He climaxed with blinding force, a strangled cry wrenched out of him. Remus kissed him again, slower this time, as if savouring him. Taking like Lucius, only not. Giving too. And Severus wanted to return the favour, almost more than he wanted to experience further pleasure at Remus' hands. He'd never felt this urge with Lucius.

"Hold still," he said, hitching his hips to topple Remus sideways, the other boy laughing breathlessly. They scuffled against each other, somehow managing to wriggle out of their trousers and pants whilst acquiring grass stains in difficult-to-explain places. They wound up with Severus on top, sliding down Remus' body. He placed an unpracticed, uncertain kiss against Remus' straining prick. Severus was unbelievably gratified at the way Remus went rigid above him, and how hard his erection was: evidence that this wasn't all one-sided.

"You don't have to--" Remus said unconvincingly, his words strained and eager. Severus clucked his tongue. That sounded like a challenge. He found Remus' fly and unfastened it like he did this all the time. Untucking Remus' shirt, he began to unbutton it, but a strong hand on his wrist stayed him.

"Leave it on," Remus said, requesting now instead of demanding. The boy looked almost frightened, and Severus nodded wordlessly. He could understand that fear of exposure, he supposed , so he didn't try to hike Remus' shirt up or his trousers down any further. He didn't have to, since Remus wasn't wearing any smalls, and Severus felt a renewed rush of arousal at that. Remus' prick was so hard, and Severus grasped it, stifling a moan that matched the other boy's. His prick felt heavy in Severus' hand, thicker than his own, flushed and pulsing with need.

Remus squirmed, as if trying to be patient and failing. In his fantasies, Severus always teased Remus, making him beg for more. Now, though, he couldn't play the cool, sophisticated lover. He was far too eager himself, and he leaned forward. His sensitive nose picked up the thick, masculine scent of Remus, making him feel hazy and delirious. With his first taste, a tentative flick of his tongue against Remus' glans, he knew he'd found a new addiction.

"Severus," Remus moaned, wiggling his hips. The head of his prick rubbed tantalizingly against Severus' lower lip, which seemed to spur both of them on. Severus bent his head and swiped his tongue from the root of Remus' prick to its tip, his prodigious nose rubbing against it as he moved his head. Remus didn't seem to mind at all. He repeated this several times until thin, strong fingers found their way into his hair and he became aware of the litany of words Remus was chanting, a breathless chorus of "more" and "please" and "oh, Severus" spilling from his lips. Severus let himself be pulled upward enough to fasten his mouth properly around Remus' prick, sucking it in further as much by instinct as any knowledge of how to do this. Remus bucked forward enthusiastically and hit the back of Severus' throat, making his eyes water as he gagged.

"Oh god, sorry!" Remus yelped, but Severus quelled his words with a sweeping glare upward and repeated the motion, his hand around Remus' prick this time to prevent it pushing too far in. This, it seemed, was enough to drive Remus wild, the normally sedate boy thrashing beneath him, moaning, "Love this, love this, you're so-- want to--"

It figured Lupin would be chatty, Severus mused, smirking around the prick in his mouth as Remus petted his hair frantically. Chatty and inarticulate all at once.

He felt the shudder of tension ripple through Remus' body, pulling back in surprise just before Remus came, his seed splattering his shirt tail and Severus' hand, and a little arcing up to hit Severus' chin.

"I am not amused, Lupin," Severus said darkly, though the glitter in his eyes said otherwise. Remus, gasping for breath from the force of his climax and trying not to snicker all at the same time, grabbed him by his tie and hauled him back down. Brazenly, he licked Severus' chin clean and then kissed him hard, his determined tongue sliding between Severus' lips. They relaxed into each other's arms, the kiss becoming more languid, a series of gentle, sated touches of lips to lips to tongues. Severus felt like falling asleep, but that would mean stretching out across Lupin, and using the other boy's chest or shoulder as a pillow, which was too unbearably intimate and foreign. Lupin, thankfully, saved him from his awkward hovering.

"We should get back." He didn't sound like he really wanted to, but Severus nodded brusquely. In fact, Severus was hard again, but he didn't want to admit it, and he couldn't risk them being found like this.

"Indeed." He pushed himself off Lupin, who scrambled to his feet immediately and refastened his trousers. He looked disheveled and well-shagged.

"Christ, Snape, you look almost edible," Remus breathed, flinging his arms around Severus' neck and kissing him compulsively. Severus felt he could get used to this. Their guard down in the wake of their frolicking, they walked back to the school together in comfortably charged silence, neither bothering to hide the way their hands brushed with each step.

Upon entering the castle, Severus turned before his courage left him. "Tomorrow night."

"What?"

"It will be one month tomorrow since... since that night in the Forest, and we should..." he faltered. "The Astronomy Tower at midnight. Tomorrow."

"Severus, I--"

"He's otherwise engaged, Snivellus." The loathsome Sirius Black came striding into view around the corner, Potter and Pettigrew in tow. They arrange themselves phalanx-like around Remus, and Potter flung his arm around Remus' shoulders. Remus looked as surprised at that as Snape felt.

"He's got a prior engagement," Potter drawled in a good impression of Black at his most belligerent. "So why don't you go drip grease on someone as ugly as you are."

"James!" Remus said sharply.

"Moony's right, Prongs," Black chimed in. "No one's as ugly as Snivellus."

Severus' gorge rose, while at the same time his own sense of self-preservation and his need kicked in to keep the growing thing between them safe and secret. "Fine, don't use my notes," he sniffed. "I don't care if you fail Potions, Lupin." And he swept past them, sending a particularly good tripping hex over his shoulder. From the angry squeak, he decided he'd hit Pettigrew.

"What on earth does Snivelly want with you there of all places?" he heard Potter ask.

"And on the full moon," Black added before they disappeared out of earshot.

Severus' brow furrowed as it dawned on him. The full moon. The idiots were going to go werewolf hunting again. His heart seized-- Lupin had been lucky last month. What if he was killed tomorrow night? He wheeled back, deciding to confront the halfwits right now and threaten to go to Dumbledore, if necessary.

And he walked directly into the broad chest of Sirius Black.

"Potions notes? That's the best excuse your moldy little brain could come up with?"

"Go hang yourself," Severus snarled, but Black blocked him as he tried to pass.

"I don't know what you think you're doing with our Remus, but he's weak right now and you will not take advantage of him." Black's tone was edged with iron.

"I will do as I please," Severus snapped back, thinking of Remus in his arms not half an hour before, anything but weak. "I'll speak with whom I want and I'll go where I choose."

The calculating look on Black's face reminded him strongly of Regulus. "You want to see him tomorrow night? Fine. Let me tell you how..."

~*~

The hall was little better than a hollowed out tunnel with dirt floor and low ceiling, as if someone had dug it in haste, needing a quick way out of the castle. Severus hadn't quite believed Black at first until, hidden just within the tree line of the Forbidden Forest, he'd seen Pomfrey bundling Remus toward the Whomping Willow. He watched him touch the knot at its base, freezing it just as Black had described. He held his breath as they disappeared, and then, nearly half an hour later, Pomfrey returned alone and hurried back toward the school. When she was safely out of sight, he'd mimicked her actions and descended into the secret tunnel.

He was suspicious of Black's reasoning for giving him this information. Did he think it would drive him away, knowing that Remus was a werewolf-hunter? Was he trying to prove that Severus was too much of a coward to go through with this? Or did he somehow want to make Severus look bad to Remus? After their tumble by the lake yesterday, he failed to see how that was possible.

Still, his own damnable curiosity and his need to show Black up urged him on and he ran down the hall, stooped over to avoid hitting his head. He could hear something ahead of him, a grunt and then a howl, heavy breathing... had they managed to catch a werewolf?

Then he saw it. The werewolf from last month with its terrible scarring and its gleaming fangs. The terror that had overtaken him last month paralyzed him now, and he was only dimly aware that the tatters of a school robe clung to the beast's shoulders, a Gryffindor tie slung loosely around its neck like a cut noose.

"Moony, no!" a shout came from somewhere behind Severus.

An ugly grin split the wolf's face and it reared back, getting ready to lunge as Potter hurtled down the hall and slammed the door shut with a blast of his wand. He sealed it with a wheezed, "Colloportus" before turning on Snape.

Severus was dazed, sprawled on the ground and completely numb. Potter must have shoved him, though he hadn't noticed. The same wolf-- could smell about him the wildness of the forest and of the werewolf-- the one that had nearly eaten him last month-- You look almost edible. The one Remus had somehow scared off-- you saved my life-- without a sound or a curse. Remus had appeared and the werewolf was gone-- were you out here looking for that werewolf?. Remus, sick every few weeks...

"Are you mad, Snape?" Potter spluttered, swiping at Severus' hand to haul him up. Severus didn't move.

"Mad," he whispered.

"Blind, maybe? Couldn't you see you were walking right into Sirius' trap?"

Black's trap. Severus was so, so cold. It had all been a prank. All Black's master plan.

The door shuddered as something slammed against it. The wolf was hurling itself at the door, trying to get at them. Potter swore loudly and pointed his wand at Snape. Thin, whip-like cords shot out of his wand tip, binding Severus' arms to his sides, and before he could react, Potter had tossed him over a shoulder and was crouch-running back down the corridor.

~*~

"Severus, wait!"

Three days. Three horrible, flobberworm-slow days had lurched by since he'd last seen Remus. Since he'd last kissed him. Last kiss-- Severus bristled, ducking down a secret passageway behind a tapestry. The bastard followed him.

Severus had no clear idea how long Potter had carried him until the shock had worn off and he'd started kicking and yelling. And biting. He didn't remember the empty words Dumbledore had mouthed at him, and while the rest of the school might be buzzing about how Sirius Black had been suspended until the new school year, and while everyone else was wondering how he'd been caught doing whatever he'd done while James Potter hadn't, Severus didn't notice. There wasn't heart enough left in him to care.

"Severus, please, let me explain. Sirius thought--"

"How dare you mention that name?" He wheeled around in a fury.

Remus looked small and ill. Broken. The quiet strength that had held him-- coerced him-- was nowhere insight.

"Come to finish the job?" Severus sneered. "You could have killed me last month, but that wasn't enough for you?"

"I--"

"You had to humiliate me first. Had to share the joke with your friends."

"This isn't even about what I, what I am, is it?" Lupin stuttered. "This is about my friends."

"You're certainly a monster, and I don't mean the kind with fur! You lied to me, you betrayed me, and I can't believe I..." he thought of the taste of Remus' prick in his mouth. Now all he could taste was bitterness. "I can just imagine how you all must have laughed when you described your semen adorning my face. I imagine Black thought it was a large improvement."

"How could you think--"

"How could I think what, that you're anything but Black's little puppet? His pet prefect who keeps him out of trouble?" Severus snarled. "How could I think that you were doing anything but toying with me? No, it's not enough to let Black remove my pants in front of the whole school, you had to have me naked too, when you wouldn't even take your shirt off! You had to practically fuck me because Black bloody wanted you to!"

Snape didn't see the right hook coming until it connected with his cheek. Stumbling backward, he could hear Remus' own rant. "How dare you think that of me? After... after everything! I thought we were starting something here, Snape!"

"Starting something! I know what Potter said, you bastard. Couldn't you see you were walking right into Sirius' trap? I'll know better from now on, Lupin! You haven't feelings enough to start something. You're Black's marionette. You always have been and you always will be."

"If you think that, Snape," Lupin said, words low but full of menacing impact, "then you're right. We never could have started something at all." He turned on his heel and limped purposefully away, though Severus didn't see him. He was too busy walking away in the other direction.

~*~

Remus' words will echo years later. He will speak with his vibrant young wife days before the step into a school that has become a battlefield-- a school that once was a battlefield of a different kind for him.

"If I can take one Death Eater piece of garbage with me," he will say, "let it be Snape."

She will nod, thinking she understands. She will know that it was Snape who betrayed the Potters to Voldemort. She will have heard how Snape had let slip to the Slytherins that Remus is a werewolf. She will condemn him as the man who murdered the one person who understood and supported Remus, Albus Dumbledore, in cold blood.

"He deserves to die by your wand," she will say.

Remus will shake his head, thinking not of this the grocery list of crimes, but of the texture of Snape's lips against his own, of the shapes they once made as the other boy almost spoke words of love. Of the way they twisted in anger and disgust during the fight that had ended it all. "Unfeeling bastard," he will say, more to himself and to his memories than to his wife. "He never had a stitch of understanding in him. He never knew compassion or forgiveness."

Not too far away, Snape will lean against a cold, stone wall, and cold, smooth lips will brush against his. A bored kiss, as they always were and always are.

"Soon, none of Potter's cronies will be left," he will muse, not thinking about Black, beyond the Veil, or Pettigrew, dead in a Manor far from where he is now. He will not even be thinking about Lily right now, about how his fixation on her had redoubled after the falling out with Lupin. Lupin will be the only one on his mind.

His sometimes-paramour will shake his mane of long blond hair. "Potter, then Black, then Pettigrew. It is about time that Lupin joins that list. Do try to remove his disgrace of a wife along with him."

Snape will snort, and he will not think about all the ways that Lupin has helped to thwart the Dark Lord over the years. No, he will imagine in a series of sharp, painful images every time that Lupin betrayed him in favour of Black or either of the Potters. "He is spineless," Snape will hiss. "He didn't choose the light because it was 'right.' He chose the Order because it was easier than any other way. He chose it because his friends approved. He didn't know how to stand up for what was more difficult but ultimately more rewarding."

The companions of Lupin and Snape will both nod, understanding nothing, while Lupin and Snape will think back on the same set of memories and willfully misunderstand them. When they meet their fates, at almost the same time, in almost the same place, it won't make a difference. Neither will remember anything of the other but a few golden days and a lifetime of hatred.

Fin